The 90 Day Contract…
After years of severe domestic abuse I finally had enough. One last threat that broke me and I knew I had to get out. It wasn’t easy…but it was worth it!
The 90 Day Contract…
When we finally leave or break the tie from a negative or abusive person we’re lost. That’s because it’s during this time that most of us question if we are doing the right thing. We’re still so vulnerable, we haven’t become comfortable in dealing with everyday life without being under their negative influence.
There’s so much to think about— home, family, job and friends. Sometimes, often, it can feel like too much. When you try to distance yourself from a controlling and negative person, you give up a relationship that even though it was a bad influence, it did influence your life.
Start slow so that you don’t become overwhelmed by all that you want, or believe you need to do. Remember… this isn’t a race. This is your time to heal, let go and start a whole new life.
The first 30 days…
You may feel like you’re going through withdrawals. You have become so accustomed to the negativity, you may feel that something is missing and you need a fix. It’s strange. Be patient with yourself. Pamper yourself. Take a bubble bath and get your sleep.
Make a schedule and be sure to plan time for reading, relaxing at home, family & close friends. Maybe a support group or therapy. Meditation or being in nature. Don’t over do it. You need time to be by yourself for awhile.
Look in the mirror each morning and tell yourself; “I love you and everything will be okay.” Believe me, that was a hard one for me after being told I was worthless for years. But I did it and it showed amazing results.
Pray. In the first month I couldn’t even think straight. I wrote out my own prayer so it was easy to read.
”God… I can’t do this on my own. I need you. I need you to take this darkness and pain from me. God…I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t even know what I want or what to ask you for. You know my needs better than I do Lord. Please…help me to listen and to hear you and to follow your guidance. Thank You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
The next 30 days…
You’ll find that you don’t need the fix anymore and it feels good. You may even walk around with an inner smile on your face. I did!
Now is when you start to wonder who you really are without this negative person in your life. You’ve given up so much to accommodate this person and now you have your time back, what do you do with it?
Get excited….it’s time to take care of you! To get your strength and self-confidence built back up. Eating healthy, using natural products so you don’t have any toxins messing with your head, and sleeping 7-8 hrs a night are all crucial.
Regular exercise is important. It helps release difficult or pent-up emotions, including anger, sadness and frustration. A simple walk in nature is very therapeutic.
Set goals. It may be to pay off debt, take a community class that’s fun, go for a bike ride along the lake, join a yoga class.
And…don’t be afraid to ask for help.
The last 30 days…
You’re head is clear and your feeling strong and confidant. You wonder why you didn’t break it off sooner.
You start to feel like “You” again. Maybe even for the first time in years. Or maybe, the first time ever.
You come away from that relationship feeling stronger, more confidant and happier. You start to heal…to grow. You notice the good things in life again, even little things most people take for granted. It’s an amazing feeling!
You start to think that maybe you’re strong enough to talk to this person again. Don’t do it! You need more time. Lots of time.
Avoid any major life changes. Keep your life simple and celebrate your achievements. Breaking ties with a controlling person is hard and you deserve to feel good about that accomplishment.
Don’t forget to be grateful for each day and thank God for his love and guidance.
To receive your FREE 90 Day Contract PDF just go to my Home page and on the right side, sign up for my newsletter and it will be emailed to you. It has great tips for your emotional and physical health during this time and the essential oils to support you.
